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gaza and humanity staring back at me

I know I haven't covered any of the Gaza conflict here on the blog. That's partly because I'm tired of talking and thinking about it already; and partly because I'm sick of the world only stepping up and taking a stand against violence when Israel is involved (no matter whether you're pro or anti-Zionist). But mostly I can't talk about Gaza because of how helpless I feel. Obviously, I'm not in the Middle East, I'm here. Obviously, I'm not in a position of power or have any real influence as far as deescalating the conflict. Obviously, I'm just a poor student who can barely afford to give money to those organizations who are actively engaging the genocide going on in Gaza (World Vision and Christian Peacemaker Teams come to mind).

So why care then? Why not live life as if the violence wasn't happening just because I can't see it or hear it. Why not strangle my emotions and harden the shell that only wants what's good for me and not what's good for you. Why not. It's a bloody fucked up world and my past 18 years in it have not always been happy ones. When our measure of life is only 80 or so years, why do we try so hard to try to wrap all those comfort layers around us? Why do we keep singing our song and squeeze our eyes shut as we try to pretend the pain isn't coursing through our body?

The worst we can do is die. And believe me, we'll die whether we feel pain or not.

It's one world. This is OUR world and we've got only one. Go outside on a sunny day, smile at the wind. Laugh at the snow and smile at the cold torching your cheeks. We've got to take ownership of our identity. We are human.

We're only human, but we're human. We're a family. And that should scare the shit out of all of us because we're such a dysfunctional one; you, me, everyone. Yes, there's walls. Religion boards up doors and bars the windows. It tears apart families and rapes some humans of their dignity. But we can't just blame religion.

I'm looking at myself. Because ultimately, the finger-pointing has to go inward. We have to start seeing the big picture, and I mean the big picture. The picture of the picture of the picture. The one where you zoom out and see religions as myths instead of a baseline reality. The one where you zoom out even farther and see faces disappear, personalities mix, cultures and races and genders fade into the blur that is humanity.

We need to start living.

And as is becoming a bad habit of mine, when my mind is blown and I'm running on not enough sleep and too much caffeine, I leave you with U2 lyrics. Could be worse, right?

I cant believe the news today Oh, I cant close my eyes and make it go away How long... How long must we sing this song? How long? how long... cause tonight...we can be as one Tonight... Broken bottles under childrens feet Bodies strewn across the dead end street But I wont heed the battle call It puts my back up Puts my back up against the wall Sunday, bloody sunday Sunday, bloody sunday Sunday, bloody sunday And the battles just begun Theres many lost, but tell me who has won The trench is dug within our hearts And mothers, children, brothers, sisters torn apart Sunday, bloody sunday Sunday, bloody sunday How long... How long must we sing this song? How long? how long... cause tonight...we can be as one Tonight... Tonight... Sunday, bloody sunday Tonight Sunday, bloody sunday Wipe the tears from your eyes Wipe your tears away Wipe your tears away I wipe your tears away I wipe your blood shot eyes Sunday, bloody sunday Sunday, bloody sunday (here I come!) And its true we are immune When fact is fiction and tv reality And today the millions cry We eat and drink while tomorrow they die The real battle yet begun To claim the victory jesus won On...

p.s. To read someone who's far more articulate with their emotions than I regarding Gaza, read Sami Awad's latest post.

If you would like to continue reading more, the previous article is called Emergent Village Hitler, the next article is called Here We Go Steeler's, Here We Go!.